She laughed a big belly laugh and then said, “you’re going to have to work on that accent”. I noticed I said things differently than the rest of the cast, but I never felt frustrated about it. We just finished a performance, and this was the first time I spoke a line. I was happy to speak because in my head, a speaking role equated to a bigger role and eventually more money. I thought I projected well and I felt good, but then came the critique. I felt embarrassed as if my language was not good enough. This was not the first time she made fun of the Baltimore accent, this Baltimore native once told my parents the correct pronunciation of my name was merely Baltimore twang and not a real name. Her son often picked on some of the words I said. “Pulin” versus “pouring” and “zink” versus “sink.” They laughed at the way I spoke and my voice shrank. As I became more conscious of my regional dialect and use of colloquialisms, I became hesitant to speak.
The cultural myth failed to align with reality.
I felt as if this woman was telling me my language was not good enough and would be a barrier to my income. Somewhere along the line language became equated with socio-economic status rather than where a person was raised. I was confused because while I was raised in a home that used a relaxed form of English riddled with embellishment it was also a financially stable home with both of my biological parents. My father was a graduate of an Ivy League school who often met with important people. I literally remember him talking about a meeting with the Pope. We were privileged, or so I thought…but I didn’t speak the “privileged language” she wanted. I hid my east Baltimore accent because I was embarrassed by the negative financial connotations associated with it. I later realized I wouldn’t be able to maintain my emotional health or a healthy relationship with her; because holding onto this myth about language prevented me from being my authentic self. I am now diving deeper into my understanding of both language and communication. Language is not an indicator of socioeconomic status and there is no such thing as the language of the privileged/higher class.
Choose your words wisely
Don’t be a spirit damager, that devalues the customs and life experience of another. While language can open doors to opportunities, I do not believe that anyone's language holds more value than another. I don’t believe that there is a language of privilege. Follow me for a second… when I say language I am referring to the sonic representation of ideas and this encompasses all of the variations of verbal human language including regional dialects and colloquialism.
We can learn a lot from children so here is how my children explain things:
Language allows us to exchange ideas, to communicate. Effective communication is an effective changing of ideas. The exchanging of ideas is most successful when the parties are speaking the same language; therefore, there is no such thing as a good or bad language, but there is effective and non-effective communication.
So, I ask you how many languages do you speak? Which one do you prefer? And is your language inclusive?
Since language offers access to opportunities, I’m doing my best to encourage my children and students to strengthen their observation skills, so that they can express their ideas in a way that they are understood. It’s not as simple as talking “White”, “Black”, “Professional” or “Slang” it’s about being understood. I’ve heard a person that held a Ph.D. use the term “Hella” during a job interview. I’ve heard a millionaire from Baltimore use the term “Dummie”. In both instances, I understood what the speaker was saying. A reminder that language is regional and circumstantial. I used my first research award to study dance in West Africa, but it took several draft proposals before I was successful. My first attempts were loaded with terminology easily understood by dancers but that failed to be comprehensible to the education department at the university I attended. I had to speak a language they understood. Good and Bad are relative to the desired outcome of the person, not inherent to the language of itself.
So, I ask you again how many languages do you speak? Which one do you prefer? And is your language inclusive?
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💛Mya
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